if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
