thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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