i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
