I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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