oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
