where am i from again
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
