hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
