Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
