i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
