After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
