physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
