Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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