Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
