I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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