You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
