Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
