If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
