God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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