I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
