I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
