so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone signed my nipple.
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