I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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