Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
