I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
