do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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