Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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