Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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