Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
