Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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