so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
