OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
