I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
