We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
