Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
