White coat. Heels.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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