So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
