The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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