it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
