there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
