I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
