im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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