In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
