ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just gargled with NyQuil
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
