But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
