Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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