careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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