Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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