Don't you send me to vm
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need moral support for this bender
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
