wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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