too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
