Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
