There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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