Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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